grief is just L O V E…

Someone, who understood my pain, shared this with me very soon after losing Kanaan. I was surrounded by what seemed to be complete darkness. I felt empty. I felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest. My baby was gone & I couldn’t save him…

There was so much love inside of me for my son that I felt like was stolen from me. I didn’t really get to love him the way I planned. We were just getting to know each other…

My grief has often felt like a cage. A place that has kept me from holding my child & mothering him the way I so deeply desire to. It’s easy for that feeling to permeate my entire life. That’s how depression sets in…& bitterness…& anger.

…it feels a lot like sadness but it’s rooted in l o v e.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that all of these feelings have their roots in love…in a mother’s love for her one & only son. It helps ease the pain & brings my focus back to my reality. There is so much love in me for not only my son but for his siblings to come. My focus is my growing family because I know it will grow.

I use these words as a reminder often that all of the grief I carry daily is really just love 🖤 it feels a lot like sadness but it’s rooted in l o v e.