If I Could Just Touch The Hem…
“While he was saying these things to them, behold, a ruler came in and knelt before him, saying, “My daughter has just died, but come and lay your hand on her, and she will live.” And Jesus rose and followed him, with his disciples. And behold, a woman who had suffered from a discharge of…
Crushed but not Destroyed…
the past year & 3 months have been so quiet. Kanaan isn’t here to chase after & Kingston isn’t here to hold. there really is nothing to prepare you for the loss of a child, let alone multiple children. there is no roadmap on how to stay alive when you are certain that death forgot…
Gratitude & Grief
grief is weird. i have found myself feeling grateful for so many things lately. at the same time, i’m filled with so much anger for the simple fact that i would dare feel…something. something other than sadness, fear & hopelessness. in 17 days, i should be celebrating my baby turning ONE & posting pictures of…
“You’re young. Getting pregnant again will happen quickly….
“You’re young. Getting pregnant again will happen quickly. After loss, it usually does!” I have heard these words or phrases like this so much I hear them in my sleep. I truthfully don’t think the intent was to be hurtful so if you said this to me, this isn’t a jab at you. I feel…
grief is just L O V E…
Someone, who understood my pain, shared this with me very soon after losing Kanaan. I was surrounded by what seemed to be complete darkness. I felt empty. I felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest. My baby was gone & I couldn’t save him… There was so much love inside of me…
Six months…
It will be 6 months exactly since Kanaan passed away tomorrow…on Mother’s Day. I should have a happy six month old in my arms to help me celebrate being his mommy! I miss my son so much. He needed to know my voice. When I found out I was pregnant, I knew it was a…
Mother’s Day
Losing your child, especially your only child, can make you feel misplaced. You feel like a mother. You certainly love like one! Yet, your arms are empty. How do you reconcile feeling like a mother to not actually getting the chance to live that out? It is DIFFICULT! You find yourself telling others that you…
Heeeeeeeeeey!
Hello family, friends & maybe strangers who could become family & friends! If you don’t know me, my name is Kayla & I will probably be the primary one posting here. My husband, John, will hopefully join in sometime! For now, you get to read about the many things that go through this grieving momma’s…
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Kanaan's Promise 